if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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