my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
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