Little spoons don't ask big questions
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
me + whiskey = a bad person
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
