If that was your dad, he is hot
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
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