While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
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marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
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I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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