He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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