Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
