I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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