**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize