you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
This girl is more easily done than said...
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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