Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
