then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hippo gnu deer
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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