problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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