can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
