That's when you crack a 10am beer
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
