I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize