Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
