Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Randomize
