yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
