If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
