i think i have herpe
just one?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
