so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
be right there i have to get my cape
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Randomize
