He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
this beer tastes like vomit already
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
