yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
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Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
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That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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