I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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