my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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