On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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