My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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