Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Randomize
