I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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