oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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