I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
