Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
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How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
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sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I still have a little drunk in my system
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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