I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
