Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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