fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
