Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We have started to decorate penises.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
