I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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