Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Of course I have a pirate flag
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
