I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
