I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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