I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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