Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
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Going to get a "plan B"urrito
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
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Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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