Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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