Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
