I hate your face
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Blood and glitter go together right?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize