Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
