I will die if light touches me.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
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It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
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Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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