So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He? As in you personified your dick?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize