remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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