I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
