hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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