i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize